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Saturday, November 12th, 2005
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11:05 am
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This is one of the only things I can think of important enough to post in this journal any more. heh.
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| You will go to jail for: | You were making obscene gestures in a courtroom |
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| Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com |
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| Thursday, July 28th, 2005
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11:30 am
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I got my car, and manual is way fucking better than automatic. I should really get my speedometer cable fixed, hahahahah. Speeding. Got a house I'm renting with a couple of friends, too. Apartments suck. That's all for now. Peace.
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| Sunday, July 3rd, 2005
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3:41 pm
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man, thursday night sucked. do you any of you ever get to a point where you look at someone you've known for awhile and just say ' what the fuck? who is this? '
warped tour was cool. i got burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrned, on my nose mainly. got two people away from the railing during offspring. spent way too much money there. i should be saving now for a couple body kit parts and a new paint job. i know what i want, and who i want in my life. i just have to get my ass working to make it happen.
current music: bad religion
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| Sunday, June 19th, 2005
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3:42 pm - tour all around the world, tell stories about all the young girls.
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I found a leather jacket that's my size, fits my style and everything. Woah.. I kinda sound like a fag there. Anyway, Robin is back from Vacation so I'll talk to him about the car situation soon. In a month I should just get a loan for 10 large. Dad's insurance company will be gettin' a call from me soon, because I need to start doing some comparisons on percentage rates. That'll cover costs of the car, maybe a new engine even, interior and exterior add ons. Registration and everything needs to be purchased too. I can't wait. It's hard to contain myself. My ride will be bomb.
If I ever get NOS, someone slap me. That shit is cheating!
hahahah uber-shitlicious.
current mood: sexy
current music: prodigy - girls
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| Thursday, June 16th, 2005
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10:04 am
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Totally almost crushed my toes at work today, after wards my shoe felt flattened out for hours. haha, suck. Close call. Not only did Joe say I couldn't handle my section to my face, but now Tina did. Gotta find some way to take care of it better or I'll look bad.
Three more grand and I'll have the car Rob help me decide on. No specific car from some one, just the kind I want. Luckily all the years are fairly the same design and build. Not a lot of people have it so I'm glad. Once I get it I'll be taught how to use manual and race with them. The new dieselboy cd I got was alright. I want something with a different lay out of sounds and beats though. Alec Empire music is great, as is prodigy. I'm not letting myself spend any more money though. I've got enough music and video games for now.
Gonna start looking for a new apartment. They're remodeling ones in my complex, but they're much more expensive than the old ones... look great, but too much. I want a studio instead of my one bed room, and it'll cost more. No one really needs a room mate or anything so I haven't figured anything out yet. Brandon, who is going to school in college, is coming back into town for a few days. I got lucky and have them off of work. Not much is happenin'. My life's a mess.
I draw again. This new sketchbook will be filled page by page. 160 pages. Boy do I have a lot of aches and pains to devote to that. I freaked when I saw my hand all dirty and shit from drawing.. in the inner palm all that lead smeared on me from art. I was smoking outside staring at it and thought it was silly for a minute but it reminded me of some good stuff I use to do.
Peace.
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| Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
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4:31 pm
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Alright so all I need to get are a few different side tables, a coffee table, an art table, and a dresser. Oh.. chair for the art table too.. Bunch of pillows, more bed sheets/covers. I believe that's it. Then I'll prolly get some art supplies. This needs to be taken care of a.s.a.p. I want my car, god damnit!!! Enough of acting like Cartman now, how's everyone else doing? It's rare when I get the chance to update this journal, check my mail, or do anything else on the internet. Tho' I've grown a distaste for it, the 'net can still be cool.. sometimes. I guess. Hey, You there, Shut up.
I can't wait for the new Star Wars Movie. *Jizz, Piss, Shit*
Natalie Portman is HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT. I'll be your Evil, Lightsaber-wielding, sugah daddy baby!
p.s. They don't have funky as a mood!? Freaks.
current mood: funky
current music: marcy playground - sex and candy
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| Sunday, April 17th, 2005
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5:04 pm
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I usually laugh away at this journal lately because ninety percent of the time I posted in it, I was depressed. I'm posting now, not because I'm distraught but because I just feel... Like there's no other way to feel better. It's gay, I know. I'm at my parents now, but they left for church or something like that. I'm taking care of some new "business." It's disturbing.. once things are finally coming together and working out for me, a wipe out comes. I discovered something yesterday, and it added to my growing fear that I might have a sort of virus. I've been hiding this for a long time, and I've been wanting to tell people.. but it isn't the kind of thing you ever really talk about. I'm trying to be positive but I'm almost having a panic attack right now.
Am I dying, or just fooling myself?
current music: prodigy - medusa's path
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| Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005
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10:40 am
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LMAO. This journal is fucking ridiculous. These entries are shitty. Someone get me a towel, I just pissed myself from laughing.
current mood: crazy
current music: nine inch nails - the hand that feeds
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| Thursday, March 3rd, 2005
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10:30 am
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I barely have any friends left in my life.. even close ones are coming up short. What the fuck is going on everyone? Is it me, or you?
At a loss for words.
Peace.
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| Monday, December 20th, 2004
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7:45 pm - A chance to be alive and breathing.
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So familar, and overwhelmingly warm.
This one, this form I hold now.
Embracing you, this, reality here.
This one, this form I hold now.
So wide eyed, and hopeful.
Wide eyed and hopefully wild.
We barely remember, what came before this precious moment.
Choosing to be here,
Right now, Hold on,
Stay inside.
This body, holding me, reminding me that I am not alone.
And this body, makes me feel eternal.
All this pain is an illusion.
I made that candle stay lit for twenty four hours almost.. I fucking did that.
current music: tool - parabol
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8:25 am
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I don't want to feel helpless right now, so shove some coke in my nose. ..Please?
My thoughts are becoming too much to handle.
current music: massive attack - black milk
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| Sunday, December 19th, 2004
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5:53 pm
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Brandon came back into town on Friday night, so I got to hang out with him and Eric lasssst night. They brought alcohol, but we ran out so Jordan went with us to get more. I was really way too messed up before work and had to make myself envacuate some of it before work, or else I would have a huge catastrophe on my hands. After an hour and a half at work I felt sober. No one noticed either.. The apartment is cleaned today, but I still want to cleanse it spiritually. Later on in the next week I'd like to purchase some ingredients for this. Next time I hang out with Brandon I don't want to get fucked up.. I just wanna chill. Even though I still look sober when I am really wasted most of the time it doesn't feel good later on. In the summer I'll start going to desert parties if I can get rides out there with Eric and then I'll get to meet his brother I think and then start asking around about DJing advice and information. Jordan is taking a trip in late December and he'll be back after ten days... So once he gets back, we'll have a visitor here two weeks after that. Maybe we should just do the cleansing when he comes back from his trip to cleanse him and our home. The one thing I miss about living with my mother is having a washer and dryer in the house. That way you can do it any time and not have to worry about people stealing it or anything.. But, I bet it's a lot cheaper without having them right now because of the extra water and electricity expenses from having 'em. I wish Heather would cheer up. She's so young and in such a rush to get heart broken. But that's how you learn.. Either way, she's such a sweetie. I'm pretty hungry so I'm going to walk some where and eat some thing. Incredibly descriptive aren't I.. Later everyone. Stay safe and keep sane, all you have is yourself in the end.
"Shame, such a shame. Think I kinda lost myself again. Day, yesterday. Really should be leaving but I stay. Say, say my name. Need a little love to ease the pain. Need a little love to ease the pain. It's easy to remember when it came. 'Cause it feels like I've been.. I've been here before. You're not my savior, but I still don't go. Feels like something that I've done before. I could fake it but I still won't go. "
current music: massive attack - dissolved girl
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| Friday, December 3rd, 2004
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12:04 pm
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A line of coke.. a shot of rum.. Does such wonderful things to me so I can listen to music like this and enjoy the sounds and not think of the memories connected. And then the next morning not even feel the urge... It's a gift not to be addicted to anything.
Metaphors or Reality, what does it all matter? The buzzing and winding of my path has flared and diminished at the same time.. What a trip it is to be at peace.
I'm gonna go feed my belly now.
current music: psidream - identity
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| Tuesday, November 16th, 2004
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3:05 am
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I feel like I should have died with my father's passing. It's almost as if there's nothing new I've learned since. "All the spoils of a wasted life, all of this for you"
current mood: sad
current music: nine inch nails - the great below
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| Saturday, November 13th, 2004
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9:18 am - I'm on a roll.. this time. I feel my luck could change..
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Jordan says he'll be here in a week, so I'll see how that goes. Dawn of War is a good game...Halo 2 is awesome.. I felt out of practice because every one there new the levels and ..well, I was playing with nine other people. Chaos everywhere, but it was sweet nonetheless. Peace out.
current music: radiohead - lucky
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| Tuesday, November 9th, 2004
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7:57 am
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They lost sight of me because I lost sight of myself.. That is why I'm loveless. I finally know.
current mood: artistic
current music: radiohead - myxomatosis
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| Monday, November 8th, 2004
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9:21 pm - I remember something from long ago.
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Through the warmest
Cord of care
Your love was sent to me
I'm not sure
What to do with it
Or where to put it
I'm so close to tear
And so close to
Simply calling you up
And simply suggesting
We go to that hidden place
That we go to that hidden place
We go to the hidden place
We go to a hidden place
Now I have
Been slightly shy
And I can smell a pinch of hope
To almost have allowed once fingers
To stroke
Then fingers I was given to touch with
But careful, careful
There lies my passion, hidden
There lies my love
I'll hide it under a blanket
Lull it to sleep
I'll keep it in a hidden place
I'll keep it in a hidden place
Keep it in a hidden place
Keep it in a hidden place
He's
The beautifulest
Fragilest
Still strong
Dark and divine
And the littleness of his movements
Hides himself
He events a charm
That makes him invisible
Hides in the air
Can I hide there too?
Hide in the air of him
Seek solace
Sanctuary
In that hidden place
In a hidden place
In a hidden place
We'll stay in a hidden place
Ooohh in a hidden place
..Someone thought of me when they listened to this, once long ago. The things you remember if you just let yourself.. is amazing. I have tonight off but everyone is busy. I can't sleep much lately..
current music: bjork - hidden place
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8:49 am
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I'd listen to the words he's say
But in his voice I heard decay
The plastic face forced to portray
All the insides left cold and grey
There is a place that still remains
It eats the fear, it eats the pain
The sweetest price he'll have to pay
The day the whole world went away..
current mood: blank
current music: nine inch nails - the day the world went away (quiet)
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| Saturday, November 6th, 2004
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7:45 pm
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Speak to me in a language I can hear
Humour me before I have to go
Deep in thought I forgive everyone
As the cluttered streets greet me once again
I know I can't be late, supper's waiting on the table
Tomorrow's just an excuse away
So I pull my collar up and face the cold, on my own
The earth laughs beneath my heavy feet
At the blasphemy in my old jangly walk
Steeple guide me to my heart and home
The sun is out and up and down again
I know I'll make it, love can last forever
Graceful swans of never topple to the earth
And you can make it last, forever you
You can make it last, forever you
And for a moment I lose myself
Wrapped up in the pleasures of the world
I've journeyed here and there and back again
But in the same old haunts I still find my friends
Mysteries not ready to reveal
Sympathies I'm ready to return
I'll make the effort, love can last forever
Graceful swans of never topple to the earth
Tomorrow's just an excuse
And you can make it last, forever you
You can make it last, forever you
current music: smashing pumpkins - thirty three
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| Thursday, November 4th, 2004
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9:25 am
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In a week my income will be doubled, my time will be filled with happiness, and My pimpin' increases.. hahaha I totally need a Bomber and some Weeeeed... I have my cloves at least... Black and sweet.. What up now niggas!?
True 'dat? Niggawha. haaa.
Nine Inch Nails BITCHES!
current mood: tweeaaaky
current music: nine inch nails - somewhat damaged
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noiseriot's journal